


Dead Drunk

by DontCallMeStraightOrCis



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Humantale, Alternate Universe - Overtale, And as always Papyrus is great, Either way they human, M/M, What's the name for thea human au?, i dunno
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-23
Updated: 2017-09-23
Packaged: 2019-01-04 15:21:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12171534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DontCallMeStraightOrCis/pseuds/DontCallMeStraightOrCis
Summary: Sans has a drinking problem, Papyrus has a Sans problem, and Grillby has a romantic problem.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> They're humans in this solely because I refuse to describe a skeleton as attractive

Not for the first time, Grillby wondered if it was in his best interest to ban Sans from the bar.

While it might decrease his income slightly, it would at least mean he wouldn't have to deal with a drunk Sans, like he was having to do now.

Sans had been there for nearly five hours now - much longer than usual - and had spent nearly the whole time incoherently mumbling about some type of font. Usually Grilby wouldn't mind, but it was getting far too late for Sans to stumble home now.

"I _think_ that's enough now Sans," he said quietly.

Sans shook his head.

"No 's not," he slurred loudly before going back to his quiet mumbling.

Grilby just sighed and waited until Sans wasn't looking to slip the drink away and replace it with a glass of water. He wondered just what the hell he was going to do with the guy, maybe he would have to resort to letting Sans stay the night at his... _again_...

Just as he'd accepted this fact, the doors swung open and a panicked person walked in.

An _attractive_ panicked person, Grillby corrected.

He was tall and slim with big brown eyes, dressed in crop top, a red scarf, shorts and boots (none of which seemed to really match, but it still sort of worked on him... somehow). His dark hair was curly with white highlights, matching his white nail polish and contrasting with his dark skin. And he was wearing an anxious expression.

Then his eyes latched onto Sans', and he both seemed to relax, and get annoyed.

" _Sans_! What on _earth_ are you doing here?! I've been looking everywhere for you, you lazy bones!"

Sans' head shot up, eyes wide and lips drawn into a straight line. Apparently, even drunk he knew he had made a big mistake.

He slowly turned around, struggling to keep his eyes focused on the guy.

"P-Papyrus, hey bro..."

 _Oh_ , so he had been mumbling about his _brother_ , not a font, Grillby noted, That... actually made a _lot_ more sense.

"Don't ' _hey bro_ ' me, I've been looking for you for the last _two hours_! Nobody knew where you were and you weren't answering your phone!"

Sans winced, and Grillby vaguely remembered that the phone in question had ended up in a glass of whiskey after the third time it had rang... perhaps he should have tried to stop that.

"Sorry Pap-"

"Save it for when you're sober Sans," he sighed.

He walked forward, glaring at Sans, then, surprisingly enough, he looked up at Grillby. From closer up, Grillby picked up a few more things about Papyrus, such as the beauty mark beside his left eye, his perfect teeth, and the slight sparkle to his hair (had he put glitter in it? It seemed like the sort of thing this guy would do).

He wondered for a second if he was going to get told off for letting Sans get drunk.

"I hope he didn't cause _too_ much trouble to you," Papyrus said.

But thankfully, he wasn't. He let out a sigh and smiled at Papyrus.

"No he didn't, don't worry."

"Oh good... does he, uh, come here often?"

As bad as the situation was, Grillby was almost relieved to know that someone out there (other than him) was worrying about Sans.

"He does."

Papyrus bit his lip and looked away. He reached into his pocket and pulled something out, handing it to Grillby.

Grillby froze when he got it, and blushed. It was a phone number. Papyrus' phone number. Did he miss something, he wondered, Did some flirting happen that he forgot about somehow?

"The next time he comes here, could you let me know please?"

Grillby tried not to look too disappointed in that. He had literally only met the guy, and they met because his brother was dead drunk in his bar, why was he disappointed? So he sent Papyrus a soft smile and nodded.

"Of course," he replied, "But I didn't catch your name sorry."

The worried look slipped off Papyrus' face, replaced by a blinding smile.

"I'm the _Great Papyrus_! It's a pleasure for _you_ to meet _me_!"

Usually, self-centred guys made him groan and roll his eyes, but there were just something so endearing about Papyrus that he couldn't help but smile be drawn in.

"It sure is," Grillby chuckled.

Papyrus flashed him one more bright smile before effortlessly picking Sans up and marching off. Grillby was honestly impressed - Sans wasn't a light guy, and he struggled when trying to just drag Sans around, never mind carry him.

He chuckled to himself, picking up the half empty glass of water. Secretly, he hoped Sans would do the stupid thing and chose to get drunk at his bar soon.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who needs sleep when you can have regrets

Sans didn't (or, maybe the better word to use would be ' _did_ ') disappoint and kept appearing at his bar, leading to more encounters with Papyrus.

To his credit, Sans had tried really hard to avoid getting caught by going at random times, times when Papyrus was working or busy, and on different days, but it never worked. Grillby wondered if Sans had figured out what Papyrus had asked of him that first meeting, or if he honestly thought Papyrus was psychic or something. Either way, he wasn't stopping and neither was Papyrus.

Over time, he began to pick up little interesting pieces of information about Papyrus, for instance: he was autistic and because of that there were very few foods he would eat, spaghetti was one of those foods and he loved to cook it and talk about it for hours, he liked guys, his favourite colour was orange, because of that fact he loved Grillby's hair, he liked guys, he thought gender was stupid and was happy for people to use whatever pronouns for him, he regularly babysat for three kids and he was especially fond of the one called Chara and vice versa, he was incredibly intelligent with a degree in chemical engineering but preferred the idea of becoming a cook, he liked cats... and guys.

 _Okay_ so the fact that had literally kept Grillby awake nearly the whole night, grinning widely, was the fact that Papyrus was gay. He liked guys. _Grillby_ was a guy. And he seemed to like Grillby.

That was the fact he was thinking about as Papyrus wandered into the bar... when there was no Sans.

"Papyrus? What are you doing here? Sans isn't here."

"I know, I wanted to see you!"

Grillby's heart skipped a beat, and he prayed that his blush wasn't too obvious.

"R-Really?"

"Yes! See, I have a problem..."

"Oh?"

"I wanted to thank you for helping me with Sans by inviting you over for dinner and making you some of my special spaghetti!" Papyrus announced with a big smile. Then the smile dropped and he looked away. "But, uh, the last time I made it Chara got sick so I think it might be doing something... wrong... but I'm not sure what..."

Papyrus looked so honestly heartbroken, that Grillby felt the urgent need to try and change that. Now what could he says to cheer Papyrus up?

"I-I could help."

Papyrus looked at him, eyes wide (and pretty like Jesus, Grillby swore those were the prettiest eyes he'd ever seen).

"Really?"

"It would be an _honour_ to help the Great Papyrus cook his signature dish."

With a happy squeal, Papyrus launched himself across the bar, at Grillby and began hugging him tightly.

Grillby's heart skipped a beat, and he froze as he face became to heat up. He realised three things during that hug:

1) Papyrus smelt of cinnamon and honey  
2) That was definitely glitter in his hair  
3) Papyrus had a tight grip and gave amazing hugs

After a moment, Grillby hugged him back, earning him a chuckle.

"Thank you so much Grillby! You won't regret it!"

"I know I won't."

It felt like a wonderful lifetime before Papyrus pulled away, grin somehow even bigger than before.

"Well now I'm here, I should stay and keep you company! Maybe I might get lucky and catch Sans in the act too!"

How cute could a guy be? Grillby didn't get it. And how could this person possibly be related to Sans?

"That sounds lovely, Papyrus... maybe you could tell me about knights again?"

Papyrus shook his head and sat down, elbows on the bar.

"I want _you_ to talk about something _you_ like!"

"H-Huh?"

He looked at Papyrus with wide eyes, jaw dropped.

"We've talked a lot but I still don't know much about you, which is very bad! How can we be friends if I don't know anything about you!"

" _Friends_? You want to be friends with me?"

"Yes I do!"

"...Why? I'm as exciting or as funny as you Papyrus... I'd probably just bore you."

"Nonsense! I, the _Great Papyrus_ , would _never_ try to befriend someone if I thought they were _boring_!"

"Are you sure?"

"Positive!"

"O-Okay..."

He struggled to think of something to say, but of course, Papyrus was there to save the day.

"What do you like to do when you're not cooking or talking to me?"

He wasn't used to talking to about himself, but it honestly felt so easy and so... nice. It helped that Papyrus was an amazing listener, and never once seemed to get bored.

The only interruption they'd had was when Sans had walked in, just for a second, but immediately ran out when he saw Papyrus.

Before he even knew it, three hours had passed, and it was nearly time to to close up.

" _Wowie_ , Grillby," Papyrus sighed, "You're really interesting."

"R-Really?"

"Really! I can't wait until our lesson, then I get to hear more of your stories and make spaghetti! It'll be great!"

"Yeah, it will."

And with that, Papyrus left. As Grillby watched the doors closed, he remembered that he'd never got a time or date off Papyrus... he smiled and began to clean the bar.


End file.
